trippingoverbuildings’ blog

My classes at Mountain View are DONE.
I got an A in econ, but I still haven't gotten my grade back for government.
I'm pretty sure that I did really well on my gov exam though.
I'm excited.

I know whoever is reading this doesn't care a bit.
Except my sister..hah.

I wish I had more to say.

And I've come to realize that since going back and reading through my old entries here and elsewhere.
There's almost no way to overcome it, except maybe having something more meaningful and interesting than my current life.

I'm not writing this to be read, I'm just writing it to write.

New in my life:
I'm a new-found senior at my high school.
My boyfriend of two years broke up with me on Friday the 13th, classy.
I'm the "Battery Section Leader" of our drum line.
I'm taking community college classes as dual credit for high school, government and economics.

At the end of my junior year, the very very end, I had a talk with some of the other band juniors. We made grand plans of going on trips and having a bunch of "senior fun". Now that senior year is here, school hasn't even started yet, I just want to get out. It's not that I have senioritis (or maybe I do and I'm just in denial), but I just can't handle this town and these people for much longer. I don't care about fufilling those plans, which in reality probably would have never happened, I just want to finish school and get as far away, as fast as possible.

One problem attached to my urges to get out are where to go. I've had thoughts, many in fact, of going to New York. I'm a hermit as it is, so I think being invisible in a big city wouldn't be a problem. I've never even been there, but I think I love New York already. Maybe these are all naive dreams that will never successfully pan out, or maybe it's all a really bad idea. Throwing myself into a city like New York. At least I know how to swim.
Obviously, college is a must.
If I can't have New York, then I'll settle for somewhere close. At least in the North East.
Boston, where all the Irish folk live.
Anywhere.
Finding a college where I want to be with what I want to study is proving the hardest part.
FILM in the NORTHEAST, at a school that's a REGULAR COLLEGE (not an arts college, not a community college).
It may not seem hard, but current searching has found nothing, yet.

I'll keep the hope alive.

i think i've hit the "every two months i'll post on Vox by complete accident" trend.
honestly, my life is crazy right now.
no idea what i want to do with my life, about to start my senior year and already spreading myself too thin for it.

the most interesting thing i've heard all day was that they're making a second Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants movie.

 is that sad? my main conversation topic is movies, and that doesn't fly very well with my mother. she wants to talk about colleges, and the "big picture".
yes, i care about those things. I DO. but i have to care about other things before i tear my hair out.
it's the way i'm wired.

ex: i've been watching a steady 3 hours of Gilmore Girls a day for this whole weekend. ssshh don't tell my mom. even though it is very possible that she's reading this. i didn't have a lot of homework this weekend, so i took advantage of it. sue me.

i just don't know what else i can do right now.
i'm already tearing my hair out.

and it has barely even started.

sorry it's been so long, almost two months now.
i'd tell you that there was just a lot going on, but there wasn't really.

the new semester has begun, all of my classes are the same except i have a new history class.
i didn't think they could be stupider than the last, but they are. i'm seeing people that i grew up with, went to elementary school with, and i don't even talk to them. i doubt they remember my name. but i remember theirs.

solo and ensemble has started up again, i'm playing "The Dolls Burial" by Tchaikovsky, I may have bitten off more than I can chew with that one. I wasn't aware that the whole piece was ripple rolls.

we're reading pride and prejudice in english right now,

most all of the boys in my class have this version because it has Keira Knightly on the cover, who is without flaw.

i have a certain problem with reading, i like to read, but i always put it off until i'm too tired to keep reading. i want to want to read, but it just doesn't happen. we've read quite a few books this year in english. i always start reading them, but then i get behind so fast that i can't catch up again. i know i'm not the only one in the class, but it makes me feel stupider than i know i am.

today i promise myself that i'll read a great deal. i'm in the middle of volume one, and i need to finish volume 3 by monday, and do work on it.
the only problem with promising myself is that i most likely wont follow through, and end up feeling even worse.

in other news, my sister left for Austria on the 18th. i'm extremely excited for her. she's finally going to the city of her dreams, Vienna. my only hope is that eventually, i will feel that way about something in my life. knowing that it's so right that i just do it. i need, i mean need to figure out what i'm going to do with my life.

i've always been one of the smarter ones in the class, and i've always been really interested in science. but i'm not too sure about that even more. i'm really really interested in film now. i'm not even really sure what part of film i'm interested in, but some part. but i'm not really sure how i'm supposed to figure that out. how do i find out what exactly directors do? or if i'm even any good at it? i guess i need to go to college undeclared and take film classes? a little of everything filmy? editing seems interesting. i can sit infront of screens all day and piece together stuff in the most streamlined way possible. or maybe that's not even what they do. the only part of editing that i've ever seen is from "The Greenlight Project" season 2. i'm afraid that i'll become interested in something, and then be completely wrong about what it actually is. and then there's cinematography. cinematographers, from what i understand, help the director get the angle and picture that they're looking for. am i wrong?? probably.

i'm also interested in photography, which is where i think i think that cinematography would be interesting. but then again, i may be completely and utterly wrong, again.

this is just the first time that i'm kind of even considering not doing science in a very long time. and again, even in the science field, there are just so many different paths to take. i like marine biology, i like genetics, i like environmental sciences. i want a job that has a future, a job that i know will be interesting and have new discoveries while i'm there. and that's why science is so interesting for a profession. it's going to be amazing, or so i hope.

and my SATs and ACT scores. i have to study study study for that too.
i kind of hate this period in my life. it makes me want to hide under my covers until i'm 30 and settled down as being a failure.

so there you have it, my main "big picture" dilemma, as my mother calls it.

but the other problem that has to be decided upon before my college major is what college i'm even going to go for.
are schools with a good science department and a good film department completely different? i guess i need to find a college that is excellent in both of those fields. i'm getting a lot of mail from colleges near and far, but should i expand my search? or just go for the colleges that i know are already interested in me. and where do i find out what college has both good science and film programs?? i have very little faith in my counselor at school, so i doubt i can go there for any useful information. should i go to a college close in texas where i will always have friends close by? or should i go far away, a completely new environment and make new friends? i've never been quite good at making friends, or keeping the ones that i already have. and that's where those two options, my only two, really, seem pretty dismal. i've always wanted to go to college far far away. recently i've been thinking the north east. there are bazillions of colleges up there, it would be older and have more history [in that the buildings are older, everything here is so kinda new..and it all looks the same, i want history behind what i see every day, i don't want cookie cutter houses.] and most importantly, it's closer to ireland, and all of europe for that matter. i really want to believe that one day i will live in ireland, and it would be so much easier to hop the ocean than having to hop the whole United States and then the ocean. that is my reasoning behind that part of the US. then there's the west coast. Washington state looks really beautiful. i love green, and demand it [hence, one of the many reasons i love ireland]. and there's California over there, film capital USA, as far as i can tell. but it would be so much farther to go to ireland, which makes it not so pretty. and then there's always staying at home. going to A&M or better yet, UT. [sarcasmmmmm]. i've never wanted to stay around for college, but now i'm getting the feeling that it will be a lot harder than i expected to leave  everything behind.  maybe i'm just being naive, maybe i don't really have that many friends here, and it will be easier than i think to just pick up and leave. but this is all i know. i grew up here, i have friends here, i know it. but i've always been afraid that if i don't get away as soon as possible, i'll settle down and never leave. i don't want to end up like the families that had their parents taught by the same teachers that they have. i've never seen the beauty in being so tied down. i want travel, i want to see what else is out there. i've already been outside of GP, i know some of what's out there. and i don't want to be confined to one place for the rest of my life, and i'm afraid that will hurt me later on. how i am i supposed to settle down if i don't want to? and then having someone else to take into account when wanting to change things up, it all seems overly complicated. sometimes i wish i could be like good home-grown families that seem to look down on my here, but then i realize that i'm not that kind of person, i will never be that kind of person, and i feel better about being the kind of person that i am. their view seems so very limited. i feel sorry for them.

who knew i had so many things on my mind? i know i didn't.

on to lighter things? seems like a good idea.

politics? i don't know much about them. obama vs clinton. seems pretty leaf-turning for the US. i will turn 18 just two days before the election starts, so i doubt i can vote anyway. it will be interesting to see how this all turns out.
that's my extent on political knowledge, sad, i know.

they're building a new science wing and a new sports facility at my school. instead of building a new highschool to cut down on the over population problem we have in our highschool, they're just building us some new buildings. the portables will be here for a good 40 years, i can tell.

i watched the deep below last night,

it really was terrible, the reviews online weren't kidding. i watched it because it starred Jason Dohring, who was a lead on the late and great Veronica Mars.

he did well with what he was given, which wasn't much. the writer, director, and cinematographer were all the same person. they basically put all of their eggs into one basket, which wasn't a great idea. it seemed really cheaply made, bad sound quality, very choppy, bad editing. just bad everything. i gave it one star on netflix, i wanted to turn it off and watch a heath ledger movie with all of my being, but i just had to sit through it. i wanted to see if there was anything, anything at all, that would have been good. there wasn't much of everything. there was barely any music, the script was confusing, and so was the order of the scenes. i didn't know what was going on half the time, especially in the under-the-water scenes. somehow, our star got locked inside of a bank vault from the old town that is under the lake. WHAT?  anway, that was that. and the cherry on top of the cake a la terrible was the cheesy cheesy ending.

it's such a terrible movie that i can't find a picture of it to put up here, only on IMDB can i find it.

as i said, i watched it because it had Jason Dohring on it.

he's was one of the stars of Veronica Mars, and that brings me to the subject of veronica mars.

i loved that show, and i love kristen bell. i just finished renting all three seasons, and i realize now that season three was a lot better than i thought it was. i loved the change in lighting for this season, it was a lot of warm colors, reds, oranges, yellows. i liked it. i also watched the preview for the cancelled season 4, and i'm kinda glad that it didn't continue. season 4 didn't seem very good, compared to the previous 3. it was going to have our leading lady as a newbie FBI agent, while i would have been quite happy with a sophmore year in college season. i guess what's done is done. i think i'm one of those people who wishes they would make a movie..just tie up loose ends. they ended season 3 with loose ends galore, as a ploy to try to get the CW to keep them on [which obviously didn't work]. and now i just miss them. fans want closure, but i also want a quality episode. one more than resolves all problems and lets us go to sleep at night. i think that's very wishful thinking, so wishful that i will never come true. the actors have new projects now. our star [Kristen Bell] is doing some movies, Heroes, and Gossip Girl. I also think that if they were to do it, now would be a better time than ever. They need to do it before the cast gets old, or some of the cast dies. that sounds terrible, i know, but it's true. i don't think a final wrap up placed 5 years in the future would do very well, people would just wonder what happened in those five years. we just want out happy ending, and i doubt we'll ever get it. and that's why i'm only left with watching the less than mediocre movies that the cast also happen to be in. maybe i'll watch the seal movie Andre, which has Tina Margarino [sp?], who played Veronica's computer genious friend, Mac.
i loved that movie as a kid. in closing, i love veronica mars.

moving on...
i saw Ratatouille Thursday night.

it was pretty good, better than expected, but also not the best pixar movie ever made.

The Reckoning.

a movie with William DaFoe and Paul Bettany.
Paul Bettany is a preist who sleeps with a married woman. he finds some kind of redemption by saving an innocent woman from execution. okay, slow start, good speeches from Paul Bettany. he always delievers. i loved him as Chaucer in A Knights Tale.

which brings me to the ever so sad, Heath Ledger topic.

i have yet to watch one of his movies since his untimely death, and just like everyone else, i cannot wait until The Dark Knight. i think i may cry when i watch it. it just seems really morbid to watch it. but i can't wait. i've been wanting to see it since before he passed.
and i'm really really glad to see a lot of Hollywood stand up for Heath with the not-so-new video of him at the hotel doing some bad things. it makes me happy to see that people will still stand up for him, and not let his memory be so greatly marred and at so soon a time. that's all i have to say about that. it's been talked of too much lately.

i saw.....the beginning of Pulp Fiction earlier in the week too.

it was okay, kind of seemed over-hyped as being an instant classic. the disc messed up, so i never got to see the end. whatever.

The Last King of Scotland was really good.

I love that actor, and i always see him as Mr. Tumnus in Narnia. haha...

I watced the Lost premier last night, and i'm drawn in all over again.

[WARNING: SPOILERS AHEAD] i hadn't watched Lost for about a year and i watched the update on wednesday and i loved it. i never knew how much i missed it until i watched it again. i love the sad and also uplifting musical theme that is in the back of every major happeneing. and i love Charlie.

the sad thing is is that i came back just in time to see him die. i cried, i'll admit it.

I saw Amazing Grace the other week aswell.

It stars the same guy that played Mr. Fantastic in the Fantastic Four. He is a polititician trying to get slavery renounced. it was pretty good, and the band scene at the end made me want to play bagpipes even more, if possible.

I saw Cloverfield at the theaters too.

I can tell how some people said that they got dizzy and such from the hand-held camera technique, but i think it was a pretty cool idea. differnet than any other monster movie out recently. also, the mystery surrounding the monster adds to the movie. it doesn't give in to what fans want and just disclose all, it makes you think and have something to talk about when you leave the theater, i liked that. the movie stays with you. i didn't even notice that the movie had almost zero music.

i also saw P.S. I love You.

it got bad reviews, but i think that it was really good. I loved the shots of ireland, and it made me want to go there even more. i felt like my mother, crying at the sight of ireland, but it just made me miss it. feel good movies are always good.

i also saw 3:10 to Yuma

it was really good. even though i don't like westerns, it was good. sad end.

also: in the near future:: THE XFILES MOVIE [second!] i'm realllly excited.

that's david duchovny and amanda peet. EXCITED!

i think that's all the movies i've seen recently, but as you and i both know. i can always update, if i remember.

I'm not sure if i have anyother news....
and the last sentence still applies.

 

one of the many examples about how i am a practicing movie addict:
Instead of doing my physics book like a good little girl, i watched The Perfect Stranger.

it was a really good movie, don't get me wrong, but i just think that i should have chosen a lighter movie. a movie that didn't get me entranced so. a teen chick flick? sounds good to me.

All region was last night. It was fine. There were about 40 people there auditioning. Only one of us made it, and it was Tanner. He made first alternate. The only reason he didn't make it was because he played one of the mallet pieces a whole octave too low. That sucks..

Anyway, I noticed that a lot of the kids that were there yesterday looked like hybrids of some certain people.
This is confusing the way I'm explaining it...but here are some examples:

One kid looked like Carrot Top.

Except mean. He would glare at us from under his baseball cap. But he still had the curly red hair. Ha. That's no reason to be that mad.

And by the way, he looked like the old Carrot Top, not the new one.

The new ones so nasty.

Another guy looked like...

this guy.

yes, my friend made a midi file of our timpani piece.

here goes.

[URL=http://www.filecrunch.com/file/~s5y5du]Download Four-Drum Etude #5.mid[/URL]

i'm just putting it here to be able to listen to it.
i haven't figured it out yet.
yes, i'm using VOX.

maybe this'll work..

Download Four-Drum Etude #5.mid

This is that teacher that had sex with her 14 year old student at her trial in...2004? I think.

That was her then, this is her now.

I was watching Inside Edition, and they were slamming her for being "rough looking". They said that she was a knockout back in the day, but now she just looks terrible. Her ex husband even said that she wouldn't look like that if she was with him.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe she really does look like a train wreck these days. But I think she looks FINE. And I'm not saying that in the "ooohh guurrrl you look foiiine" way. She looks NORMAL. Before, she looked like a person that would have sex with a 14 year old. Now she looks like anyone else. Not too much makeup, wearing normal clothes.

I'm just saying, if the first picture is what women are supposed to look like to be a "knockout", then I do NOT want to be a "knockout".

I hate the media.

Beauty and the Geek is the only show I'd ever watch where they make a guy take his shirt off to see the lack of hair since the last time we saw him.

But I love it so much.

This is Nate Dern. He was a geek last year. He's my all time favorite geek.

Just another thing I like about TV.
It's on right now, and I'm really excited.

I like most everything about the show...
different accents, the yelling backstage, the sparkles...haha

And of course the Spice Girls. They're performing right now actually, and they're pretty good. I don't remember Posh every singing or saying anything other than "The little black dress? Or the little black dress?" and she was just singing...bizarre. They were pretty good. Sporty sounded the same as I remember her....They're ba-ack!